Art, Dart or Fart: Reprise!
BY EMMALY WIEDERHOLT; ILLUSTRATIONS BY MAGGIE STACK
Five fair years ago, Stance on Dance was born, and one of its first posts was Art, Dart or Fart: An Appraisal of Dance through the Decades. To celebrate five furious, frivolous and facetious years of earnest interviews, enticing essays and ebullient jokes, we present Art, Dart or Fart: Reprise!
An “ART” for great art (go figure), a “DART” for what we think sucks, and a “FART” for stuff that literally stinks.
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Gregory Hines and Mikhail Baryshnikov’s epic dance off in White Nights
If you somehow missed the best scene of this great dance classic, watch here!
Notice how this 80s-tastic dance scene by two class acts of the day was shot in less takes than the number of times an adequately hydrated person gets up to pee in the night.
ART!
Nia
Dance meets martial arts meets mindfulness to become… neither the centuries-long developed practices of dance, martial arts nor mindfulness.
DART!
Plus an extra dart for being marketed almost exclusively to white women. Have you seen their website?
The Lion King on Broadway
We wouldn’t want to be the unlucky soul who has to deal with all those sweaty animal costumes after a couple months on tour…
FART!
Don Quixote: The Ballet
32 fouettes with triple pirouettes every four turns? Done! Great leaps and lifts by those hot stud male dancer dudes? DONE! A story with almost no sensible plot wherein the title role barely makes an appearance? WHO CARES?!
ART!
Donald Trump USA Freedom Kids
These poor girls’ love of dance has been distorted and perverted, in our humble view. Trump sucks, jingoism sucks, and bad dance sucks.
DART!
Your Local Recital
Those dressing rooms backstage that pack 20+ sweaty adolescents (and their Tupperware) into an enclosed space?
FART!
