The Bunion: Romeo and Juliet…or Ned and Juliet

By Emmaly Wiederholt and Maggie Stack

Ah, there’s nothing quite like star-crossed love, though let’s be honest ladies, Romeo is nowhere to be found these days.

In an effort to be more realistic and contemporary, ballet companies are ditching the old tragedy for a more modern version: Ned and Juliet. They meet on a dancer dating site ( and hit it off. Their families don’t like each other, but who cares? Mom never likes any of Juliet’s boyfriends.

The rest of the story is a bit ho-hum. No fake-out death only to not give the guy the message so he kills himself and you wake up to find your lover killed himself over your fake death so you kill yourself too even though you’re only thirteen and there will certainly be other dudes to date. Ned is right around mid-30s-I’m-finally-ready-to-commit and Juliet is right around I’m-getting-too-old-for-this.

He texts her. She texts back. It’s true love.

They may not be star-crossed lovers, but they’re certainly crossing social media. Spoiler: the grand pas de deux is done entirely with phones in hand!

Ned and Juliet

Coming soon to a ballet company near you!

Drawing by Maggie Stack