The Bunion: Diet Right Over the Holidays
By Maggie Stack and Emmaly Wiederholt
As dancers, we constantly have to make sure we’re eating right to maintain our hot looks. We’re forever asking ourselves: Should I go free-range or range-free? GMO or OMG? Sugar-free or free-sugar? Well don’t lose your sleek dancer bod this holiday season! Keep trim and slim with these great diets!
The Gluten-Free-Dairy-Free-Soy-Free-Egg-Free-Fat-Free-Vegan-Fair-Trade-Organic-Non-GMO-Kosher-Chemical-Free-Sugar-Free Diet
Take your pic of espresso, yerba mate, coconut water, or Gluten-Free-Dairy-Free-Soy-Free-Egg-Free-Fat-Free-Vegan-Fair-Trade-Organic-Non-GMO-Kosher-Chemical-Free-Sugar-Free shade-grown chocolate covered espresso beans!
Tip: Eat alone. This diet doesn’t work well with family, friends, or restaurants.
Benefit: Stay thin and be conscientious!
Eat all the tapas, sushi, and American-Asian-Indian-Thai fusion fare you can! Beergarten’s are great too!
Tip: Check Yelp often and never eat at home.
Benefit: Make friends!
Free-Range Vegetarian
Make sure your strawberries, broccoli, and asparagus aren’t grown in cages!
Tip: On the packaging, look for the cage with an X over it showing the farmers’ priorities.
Benefit: Knowing your fruits and veggies were happy before you ate them!
The Green Diet
If it’s green it’s lean! Eat all the green jello, green gobstoppers, green airheads, lime sherbet, and spinach you can!
Tip: Is your fave snack not green? Add green food coloring!
Benefit: With a little food dye you can eat…anything!
GMO Diet
Why bother with food that can succumb to pests and doesn’t grow abnormally large? In this day and age, bigger is better! Choose from overgrown fruits and veggies, overgrown eggs, and any grain you can think of (wheat, soy, corn, barley, oats, etc.)
Tip: Go big or go home.
Benefit: Survive the zombie apocalypse with your superpowers derived from your food!