Oh Holy Tights
LYRICS BY EMMALY WIEDERHOLT; ILLUSTRATION BY MAGGIE STACK
Oh holy tights
I’ll wear you till you’re thread bare
What’s just a hole
In the knee, toe or groin?
Oh holy tights
You’re still my favorite dancewear
What’s just one hole
When the last pair had nine?
The thrill of air
Revealed skin rejoices
For yonder breaks
A new and glorious run
I fell on my knees
And skinned my tights wide open
Oh tights divine
You’re in decline
But you’re still mine
Oh tights divine
You’re in decline
But you’re still mine
~~
Need to hear it to believe it? Opera singer Tara Khozein takes her holy tights seriously:
Or check out this folksy country western rendition by Trevor and Katherine Davis: